Unpopular Fashion Opinions

Hey guys!

I just wanted to share some of my fashion opinions that seem to be super unpopular. Roast me. (Or tell me you agree, because someone must, right?)

  • Baggy “mom” pants with a super high waist are an abomination. I asked for classic style, not decaying ideas recycled ironically from an age where sensible fashion was too busy doing cocaine. I don’t care that it’s “vintage” or a “statement”. It offends my eyes.
  • Vests are, as a general rule, a sin. There are very few situations where one can wear a vest and not look like they get up before dawn to go fishing and chop lumber. There is no situation where anyone can wear a vest made of entirely faux fur. Burn them all. Save the fauxes.
  • Please don’t shave your eyebrows off and just leave the space empty. It’s like looking into the abyss and finding that there is only echoing silence and nothing has any meaning and life is but folly. It makes me goddamn uncomfortable.
  • I don’t care if Kate Middleton (who is one of my icons btw) wears coat dresses. They make everyone look like they’re crawling into the office after a night with someone they barely recall, through the fuzzy taste of a million margaritas, with their panties balled up in their purse. Sorry Kate.
  • Turtlenecks are ruining the economy. There are lovely people out there who pour their sweat, blood, and tears into making fabulous and functional scarves, and turtlenecks are putting them out of business. They can’t afford to feed their families and eventually resort to stealing bread from street vendors with the help of a monkey… No, wait, that’s Aladdin. But still. Turtlenecks are uncomfortable and my neck itches just seeing you wear one.
  • Nude pumps go with literally everything and are perfect.
  • No but really, if you own any of these items and they bring you true joy then wear the hell out of it and be proud because you’re beautiful and confidence is better than any article of clothing. (not that I’m saying to go out naked…๐Ÿ˜‰)

Anyway, those are some of my rantings. I felt like sharing because why not. I plan on working on some more projects tomorrow, and I shall post pictures when they’re completed ๐Ÿ™‚ until then, thanks for reading!




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